Owens: Can women be friends without drama?

by Marilyn Yalom and Theresa Donovan Brown

by Marilyn Yalom and Theresa Donovan Brown

Marilyn Yalom and Theresa gives different surveys  of history, literature, philosophy, religion, and pop culture,  how women  friendships.  throughout the years. Chronicling friendships, both female and male from the Bible and the Romans to the Enlightenment to the women’s rights movements of the ‘60’s up to Sex and the City and Bridesmaids, they reveal how the concept of female friendship has been inextricably linked to the larger social and cultural movements that have defined human history according to NPR. To start off the picture used shows the connection women are suppose to have with each other but how society has changed the attitudes of women. Let start with the word “gossip” Yalom and Brown says that it  originally meant a close friend, but don’t examine when, and how, it became a negative.

The overview of stereotypes used toward women over the past few decades states women can’t have friendships without gossiping, “backbiting”, yelling at each other, using each other, or even stealing her friends boyfriend. These are all stereotypes of why women don’t have friendships so to speak. While the narrative tries to be as informative as it is accessible, the closer we get to the present the more brisk the journey becomes. The Social Sex practically sprints through its chapters on the twenty-first century, as if overwhelmed by recent pop culture and social media’s effects on the public perception and logistics of friendship. (Who can blame them? That’s a book all its own.) But for the minutiae it uncovers, the figures whose correspondence sparks biographical curiosity, and — not least — its insistence on the world-shifting power of female friendship, The Social Sex is a paean to companionship. Share it with a bosom friend according to NPR.

Women in today’s society are in these relationships take the movie Sex in the City, All four women characters are described in this book. From Carrie the women who can’t keep a man and keeps lowering her self for “Bigs” affections, Samantha who practically sleeps with everything male. Charlotte who isn’t fertile and is something snooty, and lastly, Miranda who can’t accept true love at first because of her “independence” as a women. This is what’s in friendship now. This is what’s generated throughout the population and what Yaloma and Brown tells us about. They also describe how men supposedly don’t have all the drama and romance novel foolishness in their friendships. Men in their friendships are less dramatic than women.The Social Sex also tries to trace the changing public perception of feminine friendship which, to no one’s surprise, became devalued when it was no longer an exclusive benefit of the masculine sphere  according to NPR.

The masculine sphere now is so used to the cliche’ friendships that it’s no longer useful. Almost every friendship is devalued because of the perceptions of race and class on friendships. Question posed: Can women be in a friendship? Yalom and Brown point out despite a long tradition of diminishing those friendships, The Social Sex reaches as far back as the Bible to stump for Mary and Elizabeth’s connection, and dives into missives from medieval convents to reveal the passionate friendships  and sometimes just the passions of the nuns within according to NPR.



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